Of Jack in the Boxes and Romance

Concerning Jack in the Boxes
I'm almost positive there is a special place in Hell reserved for the sick jerk who invented the Jack in the Box.  I mean think about when you were like two.  Your parents give you this fun little tin box with whimsical drawings all along the side of it and a little crank.  Being naturally inquisitive you begin to turn the crank.  You are treated to a lovely rendition of "Pop Goes the Weasel." This song lures you into a false sense of security, and you are enjoying making music, when, without warning--
POP!!!!!
Out jumps a manic clown, narrowly missing your face, and causing excrement to flow freely in your Huggies.  We have family video of me literally bawling the Christmas I got my first Jack-in-the-Box.  Why do parents subject their kids to this torturous toy?  I am convinced that it is the Jack-in-the-Box that is responsible for a large percentage of the Coulrophobia (fear of clowns) we see in the world today.

Concerning My Current State of Romance
It's funny, in the mission-field they really hammer in this idea that if you serve an honorable mission when you come home everything will work out great for you.  In my mission the thing that was promised the most was a beautiful, wonderful wife for a hard working missionary.  There were various maxims like:
"For every hour not spent working your wife eats another box twinkies."
"Every time you drop your scriptures your wife gets slightly uglier."
"For every raindrop that hits your name tag your wife gets a little more beautiful."

Let me just say if that last one is only slightly true then all I can say is I'm gonna be marrying freakin' Jennifer Beil! But you know what's happened since I got home?  A whole lot of bad luck with the ladays!  It seems like every time something good is about to happen with a lady and me it turns to poop lickity-split!

Concerning  Romance in General in Young Adults.
Now at this point I realize this post could go one of two directions...it can either get really bitter and turn into a rant, or it can turn into a "look at the bright side; let's make the best of what we've got; Charlie Brown" monologue.  Since I hate rants, and am in fact an eternal optimist I elect that this post become the latter of the two.

Nobody wants to be alone at this age.  Whether I wish  to admit it or not I, like everybody else between the ages of about 19 and 115, I really want somebody to call my own, somebody who can think of nobody else the same as me, somebody whom I can give my heart to.  This feeling is felt all the keener as I watch old mission companions and friends find love and even get married.  I think that's what makes it so tough here in Utah, so many people around me are getting married so quick.  I know people who meet their future spouse, date for two months and then bind themselves to that person for all eternity.  Now I have many friends who I know I would offend if I said I had a problem with that, and I don't necessarily have a problem with that, but I know it would never work for me.  Almost everybody in my family who has been married has also been divorced.  This makes me very skeptical of quick love, but that's for me personally.

As I've been through some pretty rough times with girls since being home and as I've seen my friends struggle with finding love I have begun to come to some conclusions.

First of all I do not believe in that cliche that is so often said; "Just wait and focus on other things and love will just happen."  That's bologna, pure 100% Oscar-Meyer bologna.  Love does not just happen, love is made.  I think a better maxim would be "Focus on loving to be loved."  You see it's human nature to want to be loved, but sadly I think I sometimes focus too much on the need to be loved that I neglect loving others.  And when I say loving others I mean loving without expecting to be loved.  Why do I love Christ so much?  Because he loved me first, and loved me just for me, so too I think it shall be for my future wife and me.  Because we loved each other first with no thought of return the love we have for each other shall be deep and unshakable.

Second of all I am so convinced that part of the reason I have had so much difficulty with relationships is because there is still much I need to learn about myself.  Wherefore I'm pretty darn grateful for my failed attempts at relationships.  Far better to not become too attached to a person, learn something new about myself that conflicts with my relationship, and have to suffer a painful severance, or far worse in my opinion, be sealed eternally to somebody who fit me before I knew who I really was.  How unfair it would be to the both of us!  Think of the happiness wasted.

There are many around my age who know who they are and what they need in a relationship. I am happy for them and they love they find.  I'm closer than I've ever been before, and I think I'm just starting to feel like I'm in a place to open up my heart and love somebody.  Until it happens I'll be patient.  After all good things require a great deal of patience right?  I mean after all I'm ONLY 21!  There's still plenty of time.

So though I've had some crummy experiences I shall continue to open my heart up.  Better to have a heart broken 1,000 times and find my one true love, than to have it broken but once and close up my heart, sacrificing my chance at true love.

Pharisitic Fools

A Note Concerning My Posts

It's my intention to write on the Spiritual Observations I've made over the past week on Mondays, and post general, more fun, posts throughout the week.  Hope you enjoy them!

Ancient Pharisees

Pharisees were the product of an Israel that had gone without living prophets for a long time.  Without revelation the Rabbis became the ruling authority.  The main aspect I want to touch upon with the sect that came to be known as Pharisees is the emphasis they put on the upholding the Law of Moses.  They believed that the importance lay in the perfect keeping of this law.  In fact they were so concerned with the keeping of the law that they came up with a myriad of "hedges" to the law.  Man's righteousness was judge by the accuracy and consistency with which he upheld the law.

Of the Pharisees (and all Jews for that matter) Jacob the brother of Nephi said:

"...They despised the words of plainness...and sought for things that they could not understand.  Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark they must needs fall; for God hath taken away his plainness from them.

-Jacob 4:14 (emphasis added)

Because the Pharisees where so focused on the keeping of the law they had forgotten why they were keeping it.  They actually believed salvation came by the law alone.  This of course, is not true.  (Abinidi states this in Mosiah 13:27-28)  The ordinances and rules given in the Law of Moses were means by which a loving Heavenly father could ease a culture steeped in idolatry and false religion back into the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Al that is a part of the law is a type of Christ.

Because the Pharisees where so focused on the law, when the Savior did appear they did not recognize Him.  In fact they had lost sight of what the Messiah was really supposed to do.  The plainness that God had taken from them was the Plan of Salvation which is so plain it can be summed up in two sentences.  Because of the Fall we are each in a state of mortality and sin, which makes us unable to be in the presence of God.  To overcome this we must apply the grace Jesus Christ can give us through His Atonement.

Modern Pharisees

A few weeks ago in my Elder's quorum we had quite the debate.  Twenty minutes of our lesson was spent as the instructor helplessly watched his class argue whether or not women could give priesthood blessings.  This was after the debate on whether or not a member who is not ordained a Patriarch could end a blessing for sickness using the phrase "I seal these things upon you.." (The answer is no, by the way.)  The lesson was supposed to be on Priesthood.  I marvel that Jesus Christ was only brought up once, and it was in passing, when the very Melchizedek priesthood which we hold is properly called the "Holy Priesthood after the order of the Son of God." The whole reason the priesthood is even on the earth today is to provide access to the atonement of Jesus Christ, yet He is hardly mentioned when the subject is brought up.  We've looked beyond the mark.

Far worse than debating pointless doctrine in Elder's quorum and Sunday school is the attitude I see in many members, particularly in members around my age.  One is not a good candidate for marriage, or even a good person unless they live up to all the outward appearances a good Latter-Saint should uphold.  A man is not a good priesthood holder if he misses a couple families a couple months out of the year in his home-teaching (even though he cares for his families and puts a great deal of effort into his lessons and visits).  But oh, the man who has 100% home-teaching is top grade, Celestial material (even though most of his visits were a mere, shallow fulfilling of his calling, void of any real thought, or prayer in preparing the lesson.)  Do you see how backward that is?

Young women have a much harder lot.  You are expected to be perfect in almost every way.  You should be physically fit, charming, incredibly openly spiritual, and also musically inclined.  It is so backward!

Personally I want a girl who is close to the Savior.  You know what that means?  The girl I want will have to have many weaknesses, for it is our weaknesses and our failures that bind us to our Savior, not our strengths and achievements.  Think of it if we were perfect we wouldn't need the Savior at all.  So stop with all these outward appearances, I don't care if you home-teaching is 30% or 100%, I don't care if you didn't serve a mission, and I really don't care if you've done some bad things in your past or, for that matter even recently.  If you believe Christ, actually believe that He will make up for your shortcomings, and if you are keeping your covenants that's all Christ asks.  I have felt the Spirit when President Monson bears his testimony of the Savior, and I have felt it equally from a man struggling with an alcohol and pornography addiction.  Yet many are blinded in this church they choose only to take a person at face value.

I believe a big part of this stems from their misunderstanding of the doctrine of grace, but that's a subject for my next post.  Let it suffice to say the covenant you made to make eligible to partake of Christ's atonement wasn't that you would keep the commandments.  It was that you would be "willing to keep commandments." (Moroni 4: 3)  This is really great news for everybody out their who sincerely want to please the Lord but fall short and struggle with some commandments, but it's really bad news for the Pharisees of the church....Like Mormon said in Moroni 7:6-7, you can be 100% on hometeaching, but if done unwillingly and grudgingly it counts for nothing.

In closing I wish to make one final statement.  Commandments soul purpose are two fold:
1.  The keeping of them helps us become more God-like.
2. The breaking of them pushes us to our Savior.
Remember that it is "only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved." (2Nephi 10:24.)  But more on that in next week's post.  Until then.....

Keep the Faith!